Just about one year ago

My grandfather got hospitalized.  It was a huge surprise because he was insanely healthy.  He went to the gym for a couple of hours each day, ate like a fucking professional athlete, and had never in his life had a single medical complication.  To make a long story short they said he needed to get his gallbladder removed and upon doing that they found a shit ton of cancer, and my healthy, amazing, wonderful grandfather was gone before the summer was over.  I was just informed that my grandmother (other side of the family) who has Alzheimer’s, has been hospitalized because she fell a few times yesterday.  They’re not really sure why she fell but they’re keeping her for observation.  I’m already losing her at a slow and painful pace, to a point where she doesn’t even know who I am or where she is half the time.  And now something else could be wrong with her.  This is supposed to be an awesome time of the year, finals week then WE OUT.  But now two years in a row this time of the year has brought with it sadness.  I don’t think this is fair at all.

Do you really want to be in love with someone?

Me: That’s a dumb question. I don’t want to be in love with someone.  I want to rediscover love, I want to hold that beauty within the bond that exists between the illusive “her” and I.  I want to create love, not be in it.

Person: Why I mean my camp friend prays for love every night. You never know.
Me: like i am so happy as i am right now, i just.  I feel this beauty inside of me. and when i feel it, i can only feel it for moments at a time, but it makes me feel like my soul is on fire. and i think this is greatest thing in the world to feel, and the only thing that has ever made me feel this way is music, and it once was love as well, and i wish to find the place in my utopia where that feeling exists as i want it and not within a mystery of musical notes.

High Five For A First Kiss

This is basically the cutest thing that I’ve ever seen.  It’s so innocent.  We are most honest when we’re young, and this little boy and girl display exactly what they feel; there’s no games between them.  It’s just so adorable and it makes you happy because personally I think it’s things like this that prove that love is real.  It just shows that love knows no boundaries and that we should all remember that “all you need is love”

Music Video Shoot

So about a week ago I participated in a music video shoot, my friends Jessi and Emily (both dancers) are doing a music video as their senior project.  They asked me to be in it because I have danced in the same studio as Jessi for a while now, I got to break so that was awesome.  We filmed for about six hours in this amazing studio; they had green screens, insane camera equipment, and all that other cool stuff.  These aren't all of the pictures, I just put some of my favorites in.  Enjoy!

Cell Phones In Class

Hey conan,
So it's friday ... which is my day ... just kidding ... but seriously I'm so happy because I have a free right now and then academic recovery for 25 minutes and then my day is OVER.  Today I'm picking Alex up at some sonic (the drive in fast food place) at 4:30 ... usually my dad picks him up on the way home from work so this should be interesting :) So anyways ... I'd like to talk about something that happened to me in honors US history last period.  In the beginning of the year my teacher made his little speech thing and in it he talked about cell phones for a bit.  I don't really remember what he said exactly but I think it was on the lines of "if I catch you with a cellphone in my class I wont think highly of you anymore, and we wont be friends" so today i was checking something on my phone for like three seconds and the desks were arranged in two circles, one inside the other.  I was sitting in the outer circle on the opposite side from him with two people blocking his view of me, but then when I went to check one more thing on my phone I guess he saw me cause he said "bad boy austin" and I quickly put it away.  And even though there was only about 7 minutes of class left I feel like he kind of ignored me a couple times, or at least treated me in an odd way.  I'm really hoping that this was all in my head or that if it wasn't he will forget about it by Monday because I really like my history teacher and his class, and I love history.  and on top of that he and I were kind of getting to know each other in our short talks before class, so I'd hate to lose that, and I'd hate to lose the chance of getting a letter of recommendation from him if I ever needed one.  Okay well that's all for now because I have to go read something.  Until next time,

Austin Rapkin-Citrenbaum

FRIDAY ... Camera :D

Hey Conan, so this one's gonna be short because I get out of school at 2:40 and it is 2:24 so I'm probably not going to have the time to write some long-ass thing BUT irrigardless (as GG used to say) I shall write a lil' sumthin sumthin ... anyways so today's Friday which I am obviously pumped about because its the weekend and all ... today was a good day, got my work done and all, I actually had a test first period and I aced it! I even got the extra credit because my stupid math teacher didn't realize that I'd figure out how to do the problem on my calculator which once I figured it out (less than a minute after I read the problem) I got the answer in about a minute ... whereas if I had actually done it the way he'd expected me too it would have taken maybe 10 to 12 minutes ... so that was awesome ... So I have been trying to decide for some time now, the camera that I want to get ... and yesterday I finally found the one I want, it is Nikon's D3100 

  

That's a picture incase you were wondering ... well I actaully gotta go now because I still need to post this on tumblr and stuff so i guess thats all ... until next time (I'm working on a better way to finish)

Austin Rapkin-Citrenbaum

 

PSAT Sleeper

Hey Conan, I just finished taking my PSAT (practice SAT) it's cool cause the test cuts my day in half instead of having less classes, I have insanely short periods ergo no learning today. One extremely weird thing happened during my PSAT, there was this one kid who fell asleep within the first five minutes of the first section (reading) he then began to snore pretty loudly which was annoying and distracting but my proctor was kind of an idiot so he actually did not notice. After the time was up for the first section the proctor told us to get our calculators out and quickly gave directions on the second section (math) this kid wakes up from his nap, turns the page on his test booklet, and goes back to sleep ... snoring ... again. So a half hour later when the time limit is up for the second section we get a five minute break to go to the bathroom and stretch or whatever. The sleeper, as we shall call him, wakes up and goes to the restroom. When he comes back he goes up to the proctor and says, "I think my snoring is distracting, I don't want to take this test. Can I go home?" he then leaves. So weird right? anyways in other news my lifelong best friend got accepted early decision to the University of Pittsburgh yesterday and I am so excited for her. It's so crazy how much your life changes once you get accepted to school, especially early decision. It makes you see the real result of all your work in grade school, and it must be a huge relief to get the good news so early in the year and not be so worried / nervous for the rest of the year. Well that's all for now coco until next time...

Austin Rapkin-Citrenbaum