It's been a long time comming day 5

Conan I'm not going to lie, the last couple months have been so crazy and just when it was getting better its going sour again. This is a really important week; I have to make it through this week because this weekend is the demise of my tough times. I'm not saying everything’s going to be easy but this was the hardest stretch, and damn was it hard. Sometimes you just have to put your head down and plow through everything and hope to come out alive you know what I mean? I'm half way through Monday and this week could go by quick and smooth as butter, or tough and as rough and painful as being dragged across gravel. I really hope it’s easy because I can’t deal with this tough stuff anymore. You know Conan, they say, "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me" I think its quite the opposite, yeah you can beat the crap out of me, but my pain will cease. But words can scar you for life. You can lie in bed at three in the morning and not be able to drift off because some ass hole broke your arm, but that arms going to heal, and on the day it heals when your trying to get your work done and your thankful that the pain is gone, what he said about your sister pops right back into your head. Let me tell you something if it was back in November and I could have subbed those words out for a fist fight with the rock, I'd take the beating because I would be feeling a hell of a lot better now. Words hurt Conan words hurt. I'm in such a weird position, for the last two months its been like I have been holding on to someone falling off a cliff and I cant lift them back up no matter how hard I try, but I can keep them from death. Its like I know the rescue is coming but I have to hold out till they get here and they are taking FOREVER. I'm tired Conan I’m tired of holding on, but I can’t let go yet and that’s what I have to concentrate on this week. Along with keeping my grades high considering the marking periods coming to an end in a couple weeks I don’t want to lose all my hard work now. I can’t crack under pressure after I have made it so far. And if I don’t make it, if I let go...then fuck it in the words of the great rapper Nas "life’s a bitch and then you die" That’s all I got coco

Your tired fan

Austin

PS. Conan Read This!